Have I mentioned what an active baby Atti is? From the time he wakes up until he fitfully falls asleep (only to wake up five to ten times in the night) he is joyfully rambunctious. He is giddy with curiousity, gleeful in his mischief-making, and delightfully undeterred by the fact that Mommy is really struggling to function at even a basic level.
Atti is happy. Not all the time, of course; he has his bouts of crying (mostly related to him bashing his head into things while exploring) and he flat-out doesn’t know how to sleep properly, but overall, he is happy.
I, on the other hand, am not happy by nature. I’m snarky and hilarious by nature, but not necessarily happy. (“I like my women like I like my coffee. Bitter.” – Jordan) Also, when I get less than eight hours of sleep, “happy” falls way down on the list of emotions I feel that day. Case in point: when Atti woke up from the shortest nap known to man, grinning excitedly, and reached over to grab a hunk of my hair with his meaty little paw, I wailed, “Why do you hate me so much?!”
I have to make a conscious effort to be happy. And, actually, it’s a lot easier than I expected. I mean, I have this amazing little man, who thinks I’m pretty swell, and who just wants to hang out and have fun together all day. Sure, I’m exhausted and sleep-deprived, but this kid is counting on me to make his day an adventure! And there’s nothing I like more than being the reason Atti is smiling.
So we go on adventures. We slalom with our grocery cart. We bounce bounce bounce on the library steps. We play airplane on Mom’s legs. We take miles-long stroller walks to look at ducks. And you know what? When I’m in the thick of adventuring with Atti, I forget that I only got to drink half a cup of coffee before he poured it all over my desk. I forget that my legs ache from doing blast-off rocket ship squats with him. I forget all the terrible, tiring, maddening moments, and we just have fun. We have so much fun that I’ve had to apologize to two separate cashiers when I arrived at their counter out-of-breath and with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
But I’ll make those apologies all day long if it means sharing just one tenth of Atti’s natural happiness. 🙂